There was a challenging message given this morning from the lead Pastor at our Church. Mind you this is a Gospel based, faith community in which the Gospel is preached- & we seek to through our own understanding and growing of faith, renew the city by spreading truth. The actual mission is a tad more eloquent than that bit of info I just dropped on your minds. The challenge wasn't anything any of us self professed Christians had heard, he did a good job too at breaking the ice part way through just to make sure we were still with him. He even told the non Christians in the crowd to relax because this was a family discussion.
He focused mostly around two passages, two stories we know pretty well, and asked three simple questions. 1. What path are we on. 2. What is our foundation. 3. What does our fruit look like.
These three questions when applied I believe, to all people really are pretty telling.
I've been on a path to righteousness attempting to follow in the image of Christ, but, my foundation has not been as solid as it should be. You see, in order to truly follow Christ- the path is not only Christ, but the foundation as well. It is an all encompassing truth. My foundation, my foundation all my life has been man. If man deems it ok. If man says it is possible. If man gives me permission. And moreover my reaction to man has been the bastardized version of Christianity- a legalistic reaction- an overarching religion reaction based on fear. This fear, this trepedation, this misalignment had me confused, has, has me confused- how could I? A woman who is chasing the heart of God - who wakes up with one desire in her heart, and praises from her lips- how could my foundation be wrong?
I was walking with a friend a couple of weeks ago & he brought up a point, well, we spoke for a bit about the ability for man to do great things. One of those things is to become attached to, influenced by whatever is. Is, is at the moments is. Actually. When the intention is great, the desire & purpose are correct, the actual action should in all accounts line up with the intention. However, it's not always the case. My intention, my desire is to be one with Christ- I am according to scriptures already, and yet the approval of man - the AoK is the reaction & response that I hope to find in man. Truthfully- I do not wager my passions for Christ according to the merit of the world, my hearts desires for Christ are committed to Christ because of Christ, and nobody else. I'm discussing here my actions & interactions with man-
It's been a misconception of their weight in my life. In who I am inside. In my place in the world. In whether or not I hold value, if I'm worth anything & now you see I know truth from lies in my mind. Because, rationally who I am I to say I am of any value if I hold no value to you. This is backwards thinking. My value is intrinsic & not fleeting because it is because of Christ, in Christ my value is made complete. I can share these truths with others and the love I feel inside my heart at the time is of empathy for the other person which at the time somewhat makes me feel as though I am actually at a place of authority to speak these things. The Holy Spirit is yes, of course, but i'm not. It's not until I go home, or I get on my laptop at 12:18am where I stop, where it all falls away & just like Jackson said this morning, the floorboards are ripped up from my heart & the pieces are all in shambles.
Because nobody looks at my heart. Because nobody goes there except for Jesus. And I have done a horrible job taking care of it. "Out of the heart so the mouth speaks", and the love I have for others is true & the words I have spoken to you, of encouragement & compassion they are real, but the words I speak to myself- the lies I hear myself breath out loud to myself are just that lies, which shows me that somewhere inside of my heart there are roots that are producing bad fruit. Fruit that I cannot sustain. Test everything the scripture says, and retain what is good.
Now I know it's going to hurt, and I know it's going to take time but I believe whole heartedly that Christ is fixing there. That the next wave of transformation, of perfection is taking place.
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