Clarity

It came as quickly as it went, the sanity that I had before I walked away from my relationship with God.  There are a lot of voices talking in this world, a lot of opinions, and every single one holds validity for the owner.  Without some sort of truth - personal truth- any person walking through this world would be lost.  Completely lost.

I ran into the arms of whatever would catch me, & as I return back into pursuing intimacy with God, & attempt a walk of faith in the image of Christ- the embrace of the world around me seems to grow cold.  Lots of things I learned as a child are now making sense.

Sex before marriage?  Not a good idea for about five specific reasons.  I'll give you one scientific one- the release of endorphins in the brain produces a chemical bond with the person you engage with therefore tricking your brain that you are in love.  The relationship that falls apart because the "love" disappeared was tomfoolary because, well, your own bodies fooled you.  Men & women who have sex frequently with multiple partners have it worse, because sex, becomes more about the unconscious desire to fulfill an addiction to that release.  Is sex bad?  Wrong?  No, heeell no.  Best thing ever since ripe plums!  But it can be so much more on top of a solid foundation.  Does the Bible say, your brains will create a chemical response that will disillusion you from sober thinking.  No.  It does however say, don't have sex outside of marriage & if you really really can't contain yourself, marry the broad!  It's good for you.  Our society likes to make idols though, so being single becomes an idol & being married becomes an idol.  Beer goggles for one night stands.  Sex goggles for unfruitful relationships.  I'm not saying people can't be in a relationship if they're having sex OR that a relationship like that doesn't mature into something more-it's just a bit more difficult.  Smooth sails people!

Gossiping, is idiotic.  Discussing other people's personal lives does no good to the person in question, puts their reputation in jeopardy, and diverts the conversation from any significant connection between the the gossipers.  Recently I sat down & went through my friends mentally, attempting to assess what exactly it is that we do for each other. Because of this, I have stopped pursuing personal relationships with a lot of these girls- not because I don't love them but because 9 times out of 10 the topic is on someone else.  Which most definitely means, 9 times out of 10 when they're talking to that someone else the conversation is about me..or someone else.  I want relationships that last long, and creates enough friction between myself and the other person that we progress as individuals.  No room for talebearers.  Frankly (& Shirley), it also cheapens the relationship between yourself and the gossippee.  "...but act surprised when they tell you" OR HOW ABOUT "BE SURPRISED WHEN YOU FIND OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME"

You know who's a huge gossiper?  Facebook.  I quit Facebook.  Yes it's a great social media.  Yes, I will probably reactivate it, but as a means for connecting with my friends & family, i'm over it.  Perhaps i'll make a professional Gabbie Fbook but the bathtub is officially drained.  I'll probably take all of my poetry off of there and transfer it to here first.  I just have no desire to know what other people are doing anymore.  If I was supposed to know what other people were doing, I would now!  It's a cheap, lazy, inadequate excuse for social interaction developed by a kid who lacked the social skills & confidence level to talk to people one on one.  It's a crutch.  Facebook is a crutch & it's crippling our society.  Oh yes, and selling our society.

I am 25 years old.  This means that my decisions, actions, idealism, interests, opinions, & wisdoms are the sum total of that 25 years.  What the heck gives me the idea that I know what i'm talking about or know better or more than God?  And if you want to counter that with we look to history, we look to our past to prevent the same mistakes in the future then even then, those historians are only the sum of their ___ amount of years.  You are only the sum of your ____ amount of years.  There are trees older than you, your mom & dad, and your grandparents-combined.  What gives any one of us the right to think that we are the expert of anything?  Even the experts?  Experts of blah blah blah such and such that will disappear in 25 - 150 years & be reabsorbed and shoved out in another inovational idea.  You are a blip, a waft, a tiny tiny spec of life in relation to a huge world.  And you sit there on your couch or on your bed or in your apartment or your friends or your mom's home or in your coffee shop or office or backyard or front porch or bathroom or neighbors bathroom or on the bus or on the trian on your blackberryiphonesmartphone and you sit there and you complain, and you waste your time doing things that you could prolong & enjoy to a fuller extent because you forget you are a blip.  You forget your time is short.  You forget that you have been gifted with so much more and that the Creator of the Universe himself sacrificed his pure life to set yours free to the fullest.  So live your life to the fullest.  My life is God's.  Turning my life over to the Creator of the universe!?  Feels risky but i'm told it's the best investment.  *itis