When I was 7 years old we moved from San Diego, California to Jacksonville, North Carolina. We drove across the country which was fun, on the surface of course- as is every early childhood story. (If I could draw a diagram I would explain to you what it means to have surface happiness-and core happiness-- despite the weedy stuff in between) Anyway, we were young when we moved which made my brother my best friend. Best friends are great- especially when they're related to you because you can be horribly mean to each other & at the end of the day, it's alright. Not that you should be horribly mean to your loved ones- love your loved ones- i'm getting off track.
When I was 7 years old we moved to Jacksonville North Carolina, I went to public school for one week - it was awful the teacher had me look at the word "bread" and imagine "bread". I was already hooked on phonics so this was preposterous to me. My brother also went to public school for one week, drank the fluoride rinse they gave him for his teeth because the teacher just assumed that he would know not to drink the pink bubble gum flavored liquid. Gross.
One afternoon after my brother & I had exhausted every bored game in the house and demolished every red ant hill in the yard, we were playing leggos. I'm not sure the argument that broke out between the two of us. I had a nasty habit of eating leggo heads- actually, quite frankly we may have been debating some sort of theoretical fluff regarding leggos. Whatever the case my mother walked in on the tail end of the argument and caught my brother with the last blow, "And Gabrielle, in the end, it will be you who will be found wanting". I was 7 so this made my brother, 5? Now the odds of my brother quoting Killswitch Engage, doubtful, since this was '94 & Reckoning didn't come out til 08? The odds of my brother expressing the primary fear of most homo-sapiens in the crux of any given situation, high. Hence the reason for this 3 paragraph introduction.
Lemme break it down. We are always wanting, and if we aren't always wanting that means that in some sense of the word we have reached a point of contentment. That contentment is solely proportionate to the level of desires that are being fulfilled. If we exist to only satiate the surface, our likelihood of maintaining lasting happiness is, un...likely- and the continual pull to fill perpetuates us forward. The more deep the sense of want, and the deeper the want the closer you are to the actual need- that is being filled, the more likely you are to be free. We are creatures who need & who want, and what it seems is that most people are afraid of this. There is nothing wrong with wanting or needing. It's the same as people afraid that there's something "wrong". There's nothing wrong with there being something wrong if you address it immediately and do so with minimal collateral.. Eh Eh?
We were designed with this want because we came from a Creator that is complete- so of course we're going to, at the base, always desire that perfection. God is the only thing that can fulfill that- not to keep us down or to make us feel less but because God is the origin. We fight this, and then fight the idea of "want" & it frustrates us, and then in the end we're found wanting. Seems silly & childish.
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