Thursday, February 21, 2013

The #1 Unspoken No-no in the Artistic World Exempt Only to Quentin Tarantino

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO ACT IN WHAT YOU DIRECT

People who choose to exist in a world in which self is the front runner and self is god, then by all means direct yourself but you are making a choice to take on the full responsibility of all of your life and make all of your life about you you you.  Thanks, I'll mail you back the soapbox.

This acting/directing rule does not apply to one man/woman shows in which the intent is to be all about me me me me but in plays, movies, and life if you take the lead role in what you are directing it's beyond a faux paux, the only people who not aware of how obnoxious it is are the people who are that "ego centric" and "self absorbed".

Everyone but Quentin Tarantino.

There, I said it.  Ahem.  For Lent this year I gave up, am giving up, in the process yo of giving up - orchestrating my life.  I have been blessed to see many things happen in my life so to not orchestrate in some areas is a lot easier than others.  I'm focusing this time around on interpersonal relationships...all relationships, family, friends, romantic in the hope that I will surrender all of my life over to God's will.  The purpose of this blog has nothing to do with a success story- because we're still in the middle of Lent and I would like to avoid analyzing our brains numb in what exactly it means to orchestrate, and how much orchestration is actually necessary to exist in this world.  Breathe.

Business partnerships, and career orientated orchestrations in which you ARE the maestro are different, that's callr stewardship.  If I did not orchestrate the girls and this house then it would completely disrupt into shambles, but, even in this and perhaps this is a good segway (thanks God) letting go of the orchestration is absolutely necessary.

We really never grow up as God's children, we exist temporally on this Earth in a continual state of wild abandon with the Creator of the Universe- that was His design, His purpose, to engage in a relationship with us.  His relationship with us.  If you're reading this right now and red flags are going up in your head saying "oh no but God was invented by man" or "this is preposterous, God is far too busy to have a relationship with you" or "yeah He can have a relationship with you-- when you're perfect" or any of the other stuff people have been filling your intellectual heart with with, take a few moments now and go swish and spit.  In some way please ex-sponge some of that vinegar.  You do not control God, nor do you control truth.  Those red flags are a lot smaller than they seem, someone just baited you into some twisted logic down a rabbit hole and everything is out of perspective.

I can tell the girls it's time for dinner, or wake them up for school right on time, but they themselves must walk to the table and eat.  They must choose to get out of bed.  When I first came into this home the girls had to learn natural consequences, if you don't get out of bed on time then you do not have enough time to play on the walk to school.  Consequence learned- fast forward a month or so, the girls woke up a half an hour early and got ME out of bed. It is an easy thing to look at when you are older and wiser and an "adult" -of course the children should learn natural consequences, of course discipline is important- 

Now if you haven't ex-sponged yourself you should do so now because what i'm about to dictate to you will not understand unless you are willing to actually accept what is being said and then apply your critical agnostic/atheist/universal prepackaged filter fun pack that you got from the tear off in Newsweek.   I apply this filter sometimes as well.  I mean it was a three for one deal, how could I pass that sign up!

Kant is one of my favorite philosophers.  Has been-always will be.  Maybe it's because the concept of closing your eyes and everything disappearing is intriguing at specific times or maybe it's because Kant unintentionally disproves himself continually with his own logic patterns which shows a certain level of humanity in him.  Not everything you read by those people in those books published by those people teaching you things is fact.  You are also one of those people who could be published in those books by people who want to teach other people things for them to write off as fact. Read the back of Ellen DeGeneres's Book, it's sobering.  
Maybe it's because exploring what we look at as faith in a logical matter is necessary, and Kant explored an area that the minds at the time were afraid to explore due to persecution from the powers that be.  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's his curls.

One thing I do know is that he had a very important distinction between the individual and the spiritual/metaphysical world.    Rather than just assuming a conglomeration of circumstances and existence, Kant was able to draw out the distinction and create a path for individualistic minds who really really want to process their world different from their neighbor.  And this is where I strum in cadence with Kant.

You are not the maestro, you are an instrument.  And you can take care of yourself and play freely.  You can accept your surroundings and respond how you respond but never will you ever be able to play two instruments at the same time.  Unless you get married and that's a whole intimate mystery that makes my cheeks blush too much to even attempt to write about.  I'm not talking about sex, so unless you're married don't even front.

Personally speaking the idea of manipulating a situation for my own personal gain makes me want to regurgitate.  That's because I fear God and manipulating any situation for my own personal gain would be then playing my own instrument for my own ears and that is not glorifying to God.  Where I have been trapped, and where God is freeing me is not so much in the planning of my own instrumentation but in looking behind at what I have played and assuming they were solos and "oh no i've ruined the whole orchestration."  Ridiculous.  I've shared this with a few people for them to hold me accountable and call me out when I sound as though i'm paying more attention to the orchestration than to my own sheet music. You can't do both, you are not capable of doing both.

These are the two directions- in the theatre world we call it double direction...where you've been and where you are going...edge of balance means that if you choose to put too much weight on where you are going you will fall forward, and if you put too much weight on where you have been you fall backwards...satz is active stillness, where anything could happen.

What God is revealing is that regardless of what I play, regardless of what you play, God will use it for His glory.  God is the maestro.  It is our job to remain in that sweet center with Christ, where we can play anything and be free from the burden of the outcome and raise our melodies to God and listen to the harmonies He orchestrates and sing songs of our hopes and of our hearts thank Him that we can play with Him in this life and join in joy and make allusions to dead philosophers and send silly messages and bake tasty things and buy chemical mattresses you have to return immediately w/o turning on the heat in the zip car because you are well aware of the material's combustion points and work really hard and do a good job and learn things and listen to Debussy and explore the depths of painful circumstances and beautiful circumstances and enjoy living and all that jazz.   ;)

The only way to enjoy the orchestration is to listen, and play your heart out and watch when God does cool things and orchestrates this existence in such a beautiful way.

"3 Gnossiennes: Lent" just came on Spotify.  How about that. :)

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